Aftermath

I vomited everything I took to kill myself and when I failed at my suicide attempt something clicked in me to keep on living. Of course I didn’t feel well a little later but I played it off as me getting a fever or something. I was a little on edge about what transpired but it happened so there was no taking it back. I’ve never said felt so much guilt before in my life but I’ve learned to accept the matter. I regret not telling my mother what I did and it’ll most likely haunt me for the years to come. I wish I did have the chance to reveal everything but maybe it’s better she doesn’t know to avoid any emotional pain my truth may bring. Some days I feel a burden on my shoulders that I even gave in to the voices but I do know that it get’s to a point where self control becomes so difficult it hurts. That day was a past experience and sure there were more days I had the same thoughts but I’m keeping myself together now than I was back then and eventually it did get better. My life has had many turns as we do but I’m willing to bet I’ve had more bad than good in my early years.