I Am A Mixed Bag

I am starting to think that I’m not entirely fixable. It’s becoming more and more apparent as the days go by. I try to remember that I am still a sane person but even then it gets to be a little too much for me to handle. I talked with some friends who can enlighten me on some things because they understand what I go through since they have the same problems at times. Now at this moment I have a huge headache and that is due to me over thinking a million different things in my head. If you could take a look at my rather unorthodox brain you’d see what I mean and why I say I am a mixed bag. I take things I to consideration before I act but I sometimes end up going overboard and it bothers me somehow that I even act this way. I believe this is one of the reasons it took me so long to type another post aside from my sister and her being sick. I don’t wanna make excuses but even I have yo recharge my batteries sometimes. Most recently I had thoughts of self harm and today it was harder on me with those same thoughts because it’s the day my mother passed 3 years ago. I hate this day do much and with my current state I can’t help but wish I was gone with her. I talked with my siblings and they aren’t in the best of moods. I probably should have told them about how I am dealing with it but deep down I kind of feel like I shouldn’t have anyone worried about it. I feel like that is really selfish.