Rough sleep

Last night I had a hard time sleeping, I was hearing the voices in my head again and it was bothersome to a serious extent. I don’t know why it happened or remember what I was hearing but it bothered me a shit ton and I didn’t get any rest until 4am even though I tried going to bed at 10pm the night before. Today I woke up with a serious headache and I’m pretty sure that’s due to all the tossing and turning I’ve endured all night long, I’m still very tired as I type this and it’s hard to concentrate without taking a step back to gather myself. I wish I knew why I was having this problem but when you have Schizophrenia there is no reason to how or why you have sudden bursts of anxiety, depression and random thoughts, I’m getting to a point where maybe I should check myself into a facility to see if that’ll calm me down or should I just take medication again because that’s all I’m seeing at the moment that’ll help me. I know I said these things on my last post but it’s becoming more apparent that I’m heading back to how I was before when I was a kid with therapy and medication. I’m not feeling like I’ll get back to my version of normal unless I take these steps and something is telling me that I should but then I have this notion of maybe it’s all in my head and that’s what the voices want me to believe, I’m scared and worried that I’ll end up gone or something and I could’ve done something to prevent it. I can only keep myself distracted with my hobbies for so long and the more I keep putting it off the worse I think I’ll get, I think it’s maybe time for me to make a sudden but not drastic change…

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