I’m not having the best time right now, I feel hollow and emotionlessly at my limit and the confusing part is I don’t care to breathe anymore. I got this feeling in my stomach that I gave all I have and it wasn’t enough to be important at least. Maybe I’m better off non-existent. Sometimes I wish that I could forget why I still decide to be here and go away. At this point death is a better option than dealing with this. I know I shouldn’t be talking like this but if not another soul cares then I believe it’s ok if I don’t either. This isn’t going to go away so simple unless a miracle happens. Deep down I’m avoiding sleep because I don’t think I will wake up and I am leaning towards allowing that. It’s scary but I ask myself “Does it really matter?” Too bad this isn’t a dream then I’d feel somewhat better but it is what it is I guess. I only struggle with staying because I have a responsibility to take care of in regards to a family member but If something happens I may take that outing. Too many good things happen and are taken away from me without the slightest care as if I’m just something to be used as a back up and it’s enough to make a person lifeless on the inside. I sincerely hope something changes if even a small bit because at this point in time I could really care less about myself or another.