You ever have those times when you feel as if you shouldn’t exist anymore? That was me the past couple of days which is why I was not existent on my posts, I had a talk with a friend and fellow blogger to keep myself distracted and she was very helpful. These feelings often creep up so it’s nothing new but each time it feels like it’s not getting any better, I like to have random conversation to keep myself out of my head away from the negative space that is my inner thoughts. Sometimes I drift off with headphones in and keep the music up loudly at the max so I could have a moment of relaxation, I like to feel like I’m floating away and the only thing that matters is me and my safe haven. I wish I could have a talk with my mother about my feelings because I know she’d know what to do or at the very least help me in some manner, I have a few questions I’d like to ask her concerning why I have this condition and will it ever get better? My depression isn’t something I take lightly because I know what my mind is capable of and I know that terrible things could happen if I let it consume me. I had thoughts that maybe I should get back on my medication because I don’t want to harm myself or others, I’m not entirely worried because it’s not really that bad but I am a very cautious person. I may go back to therapy and express how I feel and what I can do to keep myself in check, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a good while now and if rather be more prepared than have to worry about me going over the edge down the road. I’ll take these things into deep and serious consideration because my mental state depends on it.