Being myself

So today I woke up with a thought of “How would people react if I wasn’t able to control my Schizophrenia?” I wonder what it would be like if it was so terrible that I’d need to restrained, would people see me differently? I’m grateful that I don’t have any extreme outbursts but I am worried that it’ll happen one day or it’s at least on my mind. If friends and family alike are around if that happens I’d like to be able to count on them to calm me down and be reasonable about my condition, I don’t want them to be afraid of me and think I’ll harm them or myself. It’s a constant thought due to me not being on medication even though I’ve been on it as a teen, I feel alright for the most part but should I get my prescription back to be on the safe side? Is that a good idea? I’m afraid of later down the road because it’s a possibility that I’ll lose control and not be aware of what I’m doing. I have a really good support system but witnessing an episode in person is different than hearing about it, I don’t want anyone afraid of me. I wish I could talk with someone who thinks about these scenarios the way I do, then maybe I could get some insight on what to do if things go awry.

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